Questions, Questions

Questions to Ask During Placement:

1. Who picked his name and why? Does it have special meaning?
2. Is there a nickname people call him?
3. What kind of food is he eating now and how does he eat it? Do you give him food or milk first? How is his food prepared?
4. What are his sleeping habits? How much does he sleep and when? Does he sleep on his back, side or tummy?
5. How do you bathe him?
6. Does he get up at night?
7. Does he have any likes/dislikes/sensitivities?
8. What is his personality like?
9. What makes him happy?
10. What games and songs does he like?
11. What makes him angry or upset? How do you calm and soothe him when he cries?
12. Was there a particular person he was attached to?
13. Did anyone sing to him and what?
14. Is there anything else we should know about him?
15. Is there anything you want me to tell him when he grows up?
16. Are there any questions you have for us?
17. Is there any information on his birthparents you can share with us?

Typical Adoptee Questions:
"Why didn't she want me?" (age 6)
"Where is she now?" (age 5)
"Do I have any brothers or sisters?" (age 10)
"Wasn't there anyone in Korea who wanted me?" (age 13)
"What if my birth parents try to come and get me?" (age 6)
"How much did I cost?" (age 14)
"Does my birth mom think about me?" (age 5)
"Do you think my birth mom misses me?" (age 6)
"Why didn't my birth dad marry my birth mom?" (age 7)
"Did she cry when she left me?" (age 6)
"Can I write her a letter?" (age 9)
"You aren't my real dad!" (age 12)
"I'm going back to China to find her." (age 10)
"My real mom wouldn't make me clean my room!" (age 11)
"Nobody likes me because I'm adopted." (age 8)
"Sam called me slant eyes at school. What's that mean?" (age 5)
"When I grow up, I want to look just like you, Dad." (age 3)
"When will my skin get white like yours, Mom?" (age 3)
"I don't like people staring at us." (age 9)
"Are we a real family?" (age 7)
"Did she love me?" (age 4)
"Do you love me?" (age 4)
"Can I love both you and my birth mom?" (age 6)
"Why did they have a baby they couldn't take care of?" (age 13)
"Does the adoption end when I turn 18?" (age 10)
"Are you going to leave me too?" (age 5)
"I'll bet you wish you never adopted me!" (age 16)
"I wish you never adopted me!" (age 16)
"What if I got lost and my birthparents couldn't find me?" (age 8)
"You probably stole me from poor people." (age 15)
"I wasn't what you wanted." (age 14)
"Why did you want to adopt me?" (age 6)
"Why did you want to adopt me?" (age 11)
"Why did you want to adopt me?" (age 16)