Random Information

A birth family provides a child the following:
- Personality
-Medical history a)physical b)mental
-Cultural identity
-Language
-Appearance

An adoptive family provides the following:
-Traditions
-Faith
-Stability
-Nurturing
-Food, clothing, shelter
-Values
-Family (sense of belonging)
-Education
-Support system
-Language
-Seeds of talent

Misc.:
Birthdays can actually be difficult days
Orphans can truly fear joining a family simply because the concept is so unknown
They will have the question of "Why?" their entire life
Adoptive parents must do their best to prepare their children (all of them) for intrusive questions
For countrties that allow it, it is extremely helpful to send a scrapbook to that child with pictures of who and what things he will see at his new home. That way things will be somewhat familiar.
Can be very soothing to provide tapes or videos in his original language to listen to after he is brought home.

What to Expect When You Adopt Internationally:

Child's Behavior:
-Quiet, withdrawn, observing. Child may repeat a word or sound, which may be the name of the former caregiver
-Active, constant movement, always happy, nondiscriminatory social behavior (sits on anyone's lap)
-Rejecting parents, crying, actively searching for lost caregivers
-Spacey, in a daze or trance, falls asleep at unexpected times

Child's Emotional State:
-Anxious, depressed, grieving, waiting or searching for lost caregivers
-Living in a perpetual present, denial of major life change
-Grieving, scared
-Overwhelmed, scared, over stimulated, reacting to being "handed around"; may be reacting to experiences associated with previous seperations

Behaviors Typical of Children from Institutions:
-Boundary difficulties or social nondiscrimination
-Overeating/hoarding, stealing or hiding food
-Overstimulation
-Regression or loss of skills
-Psuedo-maturity- i.e. a five-month old holds her own bottle, a one-year old never asks for help, a two-year old never shows frustration, a three-year old shares without possessiveness. This is easy to miss because it makes the child appear so "good", so "easy." This is a situation in which what looks good is really not. Children who are pseudo-mature do not trust or expect adults to care for them. They lack attachment and normal dependency. These behaviors can be learned if parents actively teach their children to expect care. This is done by intervening when pseudo-mature behaviors occur and helping the child to learn normal levels of interdependence with an adult.

Effects of Institutionalization on Children:
- Institutional care is inadequate
-Attachment issues/ lack of primary caretaker
-Developmental delays
-Sensory difficulties
-Abuse
-Self-stimulating behaviors (Children who have not been appropriately nurtured or are let alone for long periods, find ways to stimulate or soothe themselves. This might include head banging, rocking, playing with fingers, or trance like behavior)
-Preverbal experiences (Chaos or difficult experiences the child endured but have no memories of. They have sensory impressions instead. This means they experienced sounds, smells and feelings but cannot talk about these experiences.)
-Role confusions/ no concept of a family
-Cultural issues
-Language difficulties
-Malnutrition
-Eating disorders
-Sleep issues
-Medical issues
-Fetal alcohol syndrome or effects