Lesson from Training

Good morning, All. Most of us are sick here. I hope your week is starting off well. We are being forced to take a much needed break. I thought that I would share a lesson here and there that we learned from our training. By the way, CFS did an awesome job and never did I feel like time was being wasted or that I wasn't getting something out of what we were covering. Holt, the original adoption agency in the U.S., created the curriculum and it was excellent.

The lesson I thought I would share today is on some of the losses an adoptive child will go through. It was very eye-opening and I am grateful to have a little more insight into what he/she will be thinking and feeling.

We had to make a list including the most significant person in my life, my role in life, my support system, my heritage, my favorite place to be, my values, my activity that brings the greatest joy and satisfaction, etc. One by one, we had to choose which ones to cross off our list- all while hearing, "I am a caseworker and I know what is best for you. Just trust me." At the end, we were only left with 2 items on our list! Ouch!!! Now imagine being an orphan. They don't get to choose which items or in what order things are marked off their list. Further, an orphan has only learned how untrustworthy people are. Now, assault every one of their 5 senses in a dramatic way. You take them out of the orphange and put them on a plane. You fly them back to America so their nights and days are completely disoriented. The music on any overhead sound system is foreign. The language surrounding them is different. The food that keeps getting put in their mouths is completely different. Sadly, they are uncomfortable with all the one-on-one attention since it has been lacking up to this point. And when you arrive home, they are put into a crib in a room all by themselves when all they've ever known are crowded sleeping arrangements. Also, everyone now looks very different from that little child.

Of course, this is just generalized information. The experience will differ depending on the age of the orphan, the number of children already in your home, whether you are adopting inter-racially, etc. And the training spent several hours going through different situations- nothing that I can cover just on a blog. But I thought this would give you a taste of what adoption really means to a child. And certainly, adoption is a beautiful and wonderful thing. But I think it is just important that we have a little understanding for the necessary grieving process that an orphan will go through. So, if you know a recently adopted child, please whisper up a little prayer on their behalf. And encourage their mommy and daddy.