Cathy has finished all the editing work on the homestudy from both our corrections and Holt's. She resubmitted it to Holt today. Hopefully that will come back as approved and it can get sent to DCFS ASAP. Going through the homestudy, Holt did add a few things to our list to do. We have to get a more current background check done for Ohio state. Also, I have to get the letter from my cardiologist notorized- which I think is going to be difficult. Cathy suggested maybe getting a second letter written and notorized that actually states that the first letter is genuine. Good grief. Anyway, that will be my next chore. Also, I have been collecting about 15 pictures needed for our dossier showing our family, our home, her bedroom, the living room, and our yard. Then I have to mount each picture on an 8.5 X 11 sheet and label it exactly as they've requested. We've also about finished filling out the I800A form that goes to immigration so that once the homestudy is approved by DCFS, that will be immediately ready to go.
It is an odd feeling to know I have a daughter out there that I cannot care for. Odd because I have such an incredible love for her, but I've never met her. And odd because even though I've never met her, she is incredibly missed during family activities. We went to the children's museum today and I kept thinking how I wished she could have been with us. This Christmas, she was constantly on my mind wondering if she was getting any Christmas at all and intensely wishing we could have been together. Every evening, I wonder if she is warm enough. During meals, I wonder if she gets enough to eat. Every time I snuggle one of my other three, I wonder if anyone snuggles her. She will be 3 or 4 years old when she comes home to us. So much time without her mama, daddy and siblings. So odd to know I have a daughter whose language I don't speak. So many things that someone else will have taught her- and in their way, not mine. But she's my daughter. But then I am also reminded that none of my children are mine. That I cannot hold any of them too tightly. They are the Lord's and I have been given priceless precious gifts of certain amounts of time with each of them and I will be eternally grateful for whatever amount of time I get with each of them.
It is an odd feeling to know I have a daughter out there that I cannot care for. Odd because I have such an incredible love for her, but I've never met her. And odd because even though I've never met her, she is incredibly missed during family activities. We went to the children's museum today and I kept thinking how I wished she could have been with us. This Christmas, she was constantly on my mind wondering if she was getting any Christmas at all and intensely wishing we could have been together. Every evening, I wonder if she is warm enough. During meals, I wonder if she gets enough to eat. Every time I snuggle one of my other three, I wonder if anyone snuggles her. She will be 3 or 4 years old when she comes home to us. So much time without her mama, daddy and siblings. So odd to know I have a daughter whose language I don't speak. So many things that someone else will have taught her- and in their way, not mine. But she's my daughter. But then I am also reminded that none of my children are mine. That I cannot hold any of them too tightly. They are the Lord's and I have been given priceless precious gifts of certain amounts of time with each of them and I will be eternally grateful for whatever amount of time I get with each of them.
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