Precious Body of Christ

I have been DREADING one of my errands today- taking Ian to the immunization clinic where I have to wait in line for hours with 3 little ones. Today, the AC was out at the clinic, and it was pretty miserable. However, this time turned out to be ordained by God. Maybe one day I will stop being surprised when God works and is so clearly seen in the mundane everyday.

I arrived at the clinic and needed to fill out paperwork and discovered I didn't have a pen. I asked a mom near me if I could borrow hers- a mom that looked familiar to me but I couldn't place. Her daughter and Sierra ended up playing together and we got to talking. It turns out she was Karen Heinze- another adoptive mom associated with our church! She is waiting to travel to China to get her daughter. So of course, we started talking about our adoptions.

I admitted to her just how discouraged I am. I told her it seemed we are coming up against another closed door with Bulgaria and if so, we are probably done with our adoption journey. She shared a lot of her story and I, in turn, started to share ours.

I talked about how after Ian was born, I knew in my heart that I wasn't done having children. But, due to my heart can't have any more biologically. I told her how in the privacy of the nursery when I would feed and rock Ian, I would pray that if we were to have more children, that God would lead me through my husband. I told her about the date night where Philip looked across the table at me and declared that we still have a daughter that is supposed to join our family. I told her about Sierra's love for a sister. I described how when ordering bedding for Sierra's new room, she kept verifying that I was ordering two of everything so her sister could match. And I told her how much I love this little girl of mine but how I've been battling lies from Satan about being a poor mother.

She was WONDERFUL in understanding everything I was saying she had been through all the same emotions as well. She made me see a little more clearly that my fears truly were lies since they had been whispered in her ears as well. But, she came beside me and "propped me back up" by saying several times to not give up- the calling to bring this little girl home was so clear and to not forsake her.

THEN, to prove that it was really God that had orchestrated my meeting Karen, when Karen's number was called, they didn't even have the vaccine she needed for her daughter. There was no purpose for them to be at the clinic, except to talk to me.

THEN, I got home and listened to my answering machine. It was Angie from Holt. Her message said she had more hope about our case now that she understands my condition is very minor. She said we will just have to work closely with my cardiologist and have Counseling and Family Services write our homestudy very carefully.

So my lesson today is this: I've been working on trust- trusting that God is good and loving and has a plan that I will not fight. But I lost sight of faith- faith that His plan is for us to bring home our little girl.

Thank you, thank you, Lord, for sending a sister with your message when I so desperately needed it. Thank you for loving me and meeting me where I am- even when I've lost my faith. As a side note, Karen and her husband need paperwork to be ironed out this week for them to be able to travel. If it doesn't come through, their travel date will be pushed back many weeks and ruin all the planned details they've made. Please lift this dear family up in your prayers this week!