Friday, June 13, 2008

Job Description

WANTED: Unique people with a variety of talents and interests for highly rewarding, low paying work, with great long-term benefits!

Study or experience in the following fields required:

  1. Yoga, gymnastics or related field. This position requires extensive flexibility and the need to occassionally bend over backwards
  2. Code breaking for deciphering odd behavior and languages. Some experience in sign language helpful
  3. Nursing. Job demands the healing of many wounds. Knowledge of Band-Aid and hugging use a must.
  4. Cheerleading, in order to better root for your children
  5. Shepharding for guiding them in the right direction
  6. Housekeeping skills, for mopping up tears
  7. Gardening to help children blossom into their full potential after experiencing transplant shock
  8. Mediation to promote conflict resolution
  9. Drill Sargeant, or other supervisory skills, to keep the troops in proper formation
  10. Choir leadership to sing praises and promote harmony
  11. Architecture in order to build bridges and firm foundation
  12. Mechanic, to assure things are all running smoothly under the hood.
  13. Tour Guide, in order to show your child whole new worlds
  14. Pilot, to help them soar
  15. Detective, to track down important information, support groups and other necessary services to best assist your child
  16. Comedy. This job is impossible to do without a good sense of humor and ability to laugh at one's self. Experience as member of comedy troupe will be beneficial
  17. Related talents recommended: ability to go without sleep for long stretches of time; ability to go without seeing immediate benefits of job; ability to try new foods, activities, groups of friends with an open mind; ability to run around during the day- Olympic decathlon candidates welcome; Patience, Patience, Patience

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